


link helps rhett adopt a dog :)

by FandomsMayChange, Schwilliamp



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Dog adoption, Flirting, M/M, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25021495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsMayChange/pseuds/FandomsMayChange, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schwilliamp/pseuds/Schwilliamp
Summary: the title says it all! a little fic i wrote with my friend
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	link helps rhett adopt a dog :)

The roof was nice and quiet. Sure, there were distant sounds from the busy streets below, but other than that… it was very nice and there was a beautiful garden. That was even nicer.

“I wonder who takes care of these?” Rhett wonders aloud.

He finds himself looking through the many types of flowers. He remembers most of the names, even the obscure ones. Though, only one really catches his eyes. He picks a rose from the bush, wincing only slightly as the thorns prick him. Rhett really liked roses, honestly. Enough for a few of them to be a part of the sleeve of tattoos he had on his arms.

He’s glad there’s no one up here because the sight of some hipster punk dude stopping to smell the roses would be a little odd. The time he spent thinking he was alone is quickly interrupted by the sound of the door shutting.

Rhett quickly turns back and spots the other person. He looks him over for a moment before squinting at his boyish haircut, because that’s clearly an adult. At least he thinks it is. He then notices the watercan in his hands and looks at the garden then the stranger once again.

“You take care of this garden?”

The other fixes his glasses and stands up straight. He seems… flustered. “Uh- Yeah. Yeah. I do that.”

Rhett tilts his head and sighs, moving his hair out of his face with his free hand. “I know I’m covered in piercings and tattoos, but I won’t hurt you.”

Boyish haircut scoffs and shakes his head. “I wasn’t... thinking that. At all.” Probably. “I’m not judging the pretty tattoos or the uh....” He stares at him for a moment. “Many… piercings.”

Rhett doesn’t believe him, but decides not to bother him any longer. “Well, uh… I’ll get out of your way. Also, sorry.” He holds up the flower. “I took a rose.”

The gardener looks at him for a moment before dropping the water can and making his way over to Rhett. “The thorns-” He opens Rhett’s hand and they seem to have pricked him quite a bit. In fact he was bleeding a little.

“Oh. Oops.” Rhett glanced at the other’s hands. They’re covered in bandages. “I guess you messed with the roses too.”

“Huh? Oh- I just needed a few.”

Blinking, Rhett noticed that despite having the haircut of a ten year old… he looked very pretty. “Valentine’s Day? You have a girlfriend?”

The pretty boy laughs. “Why would I?”

“Why would you? Well, why wouldn’t you? I wouldn’t be surprised if many girls were after you.” Wait a minute, what is he saying.

The definitely single pretty boy gives Rhett an incredulous look. “What? Stop.” He grabs his uninjured hand and drags him to the door. “I’ll fix up your hand.”

Rhett isn’t sure what he’s more surprised about. The fact that his flirting was rejected with a flat “stop” or the fact that he flirted at all. Though, he’s _pretty _sure this guy was just a little flattered by it.__

__Soon enough, he’s dragged to an apartment. They’ve stopped at his door? That’s weird…? “Hey, how do you know where I live?”_ _

__Rhett’s kidnapper looks back, confused. “This is my apartment?” He takes out his keys and opens the door _across _from Rhett’s before taking him inside.___ _

____“Oh. We’re neighbors.”_ _ _ _

____Rhett’s neighbor shuts the door. “I’ve never seen you!” He finally let’s go of his hand and gestures towards the couch. “Sit down. I’ll get something for your hand.”_ _ _ _

____Rhett looks around. This place is so clean and pristine… Definitely something he’d expect from someone wearing a sweater vest, dress shirt, and khakis, but he refrains from thinking that though. “My name’s Rhett by the way. What’s yours?” He asks before sitting down._ _ _ _

____“Ch… Link. My name’s Link.”_ _ _ _

____“Link?” Rhett smiles a bit. “Nice.”_ _ _ _

____Link, the pretty gardener who is totally single with a boyish haircut, returns to Rhett with many things to help clean up his wound. He quickly starts to clean the small wounds._ _ _ _

____Rhett stares at him as he starts to fix him up. “You know I could’ve done this myself.” There’s a beat. “In my own home.”_ _ _ _

____Link looks up, almost horrified, but it quickly becomes embarrassed. “I… You didn’t even notice you were hurt! And you acted all nonchalant about it.”_ _ _ _

____“I think you just wanted me in your apartment.”_ _ _ _

____Link laughs, but it sounds rather forced. “You’re the one that was flirting with me on the roof.” He finishes bandaging Rhett’s hand. “What you meant to say was ‘thank you’.”_ _ _ _

____Rhett looks at his hands and nods. “Right- thanks.”_ _ _ _

____At this point, they are just sitting closely on the couch, neither bothered to move. Maybe they were comfortable, or maybe both were just heavily distracted; Link by Rhett’s tattoos and Rhett by Link’s face._ _ _ _

____“Uh… did they hurt?” Link asks, looking up._ _ _ _

____Rhett chuckles a bit. “The piercings or the tattoos?”_ _ _ _

____“Mm…” He rubs his chin. “Both.”_ _ _ _

____“What? Do you plan on getting some?”_ _ _ _

____Link scoffs. “Never!” Maybe a tattoo, if it was the name of a lover or something. Probably on the butt._ _ _ _

____Rhett sticks out his tongue, showing off that it is indeed pierced as well. “Not even one of these?” Though, the way he says that is compromised._ _ _ _

____Link covers his mouth and shakes his head. “Nope.” He waves a hand. “Put that away.”_ _ _ _

____Rhett chuckles once more. “Sorry.” Completely insincere._ _ _ _

____Link seems to be thinking really hard about something. All while studying Rhett. “You only have tattoos on your arms?”_ _ _ _

____He shakes his head. “No.”_ _ _ _

____“Where else?”_ _ _ _

____Rhett leans over, snorting a bit, before moving back up and shifting to take his shirt off._ _ _ _

____“No-” Link quickly covers his face. “Okay! I get it! You can stop now!”_ _ _ _

____Rhett starts to laugh more as he puts his shirt back down. He’s about five seconds from calling this guy adorable, but he refrains. A vase sitting on a table in the dining room. “So, that’s where the roses went.”_ _ _ _

____Letting out a sigh, Link removes his hands from his somewhat flushed face and looks back. “Yeah. I thought it would look nice.” He smooths out his vest before standing. “Anyway. I’ll walk you out.” There’s a pause. “I forgot to water the flowers…” Some stupid good looking tattooed guy distracted him._ _ _ _

____“I can help.”_ _ _ _

____“There’s only one can.”_ _ _ _

____“I can help… with the singular can…”_ _ _ _

____Link can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, uh… that’s now how that works.”_ _ _ _

____“Alright, alright. I’ll get out of your hair.” He stands as well, towering over Link._ _ _ _

____“Oh.” Link steps back and looks over. “I didn’t… notice how tall you were before.” He squints. “How tall _are _you?? I’m six feet!”___ _ _ _

______“Taller than that, clearly.” He crosses his arms, smiling a bit._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Alright, you can go.” He walks around Rhett and heads towards the door._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rhett almost follows, but he quickly turns his attention to the dog walking up to him. “You have a dog?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Link looks over. “Huh? Yeah, but…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can I hold them?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He shrugs a bit before crossing his arms and leaning on the door. “Yeah, sure.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Coochie poochie coo, uwu doggie" says Rhett, petting the pooch as he picks it up._ _ _ _ _ _

______Link, somewhat weirded out by the juxtaposition of Rhett's tough exterior and the strange words he just spouted from his mouth, watches in horror as Rhett picks up the dog and nervously looks at Link._ _ _ _ _ _

______"So…. uh…. this dog… is yours? It's definitely yours?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Uh, yes? of course the dog is mine? Why?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Rhett stares long and hard at Link, seeming to be thinking. The metaphorical gears in his head seem to be working at overtime for some reason. He stands there, holding the dog like you would the first time you've held a child, arms completely extended from his body and hands hooked under the dog's front legs so that they are wrapped around it's torso._ _ _ _ _ _

______".... what's his name? the dog?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Link is very clearly weirded out at this point, and strangely enough, so is the dog who is staring long and hard at Link in a silent cry for help._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Her name is jade…"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"ah… I see."_ _ _ _ _ _

______there is a strangely long pause, where there is nothing but silence, broken only by the dog's collar tags jangling lightly as Rhett holds her unsteadily._ _ _ _ _ _

______suddenly, out of nowhere, the dog gets tucked under Rhett's arm as if he is holding a football, and he is running for his life out the door._ _ _ _ _ _

______the dog._ _ _ _ _ _

______has been stolen._ _ _ _ _ _

______link, fucking obviously starts running after this tall lunatic._ _ _ _ _ _

______"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DOG?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Rhett doesnt answer. Pleading the fifth, he just keeps running, the dog tucked securely against his body._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE YOU IDIOT!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______That makes Rhett pause a moment. Maybe he hadn't thought this through completely…. Nah, it's fine._ _ _ _ _ _

______He bolts, using his long fucking chicken legs to gain distance between him and Link. He makes it to the stairwell of the building and makes a jump for it. With the expression on the dog's face, you could tell… if it were a human it would be crying- just sobbing its eyes out- hysterically. Rhett uses his ninja-cat-like reflexes and lands at the bottom of the stairwell, rolling twice to break his fall, before running again._ _ _ _ _ _

______Link, extremely upset at the fact that he not only just had his dog stolen, but he also got outrun by a man that was holding a full sized dog, fruitlessly starts going down the stairs one at a time like the soft nerd he is._ _ _ _ _ _

______By the time Link gets to the bottom of the stairs, Rhett is long gone along with his dog. It's a sad day._ _ _ _ _ _

______From then on, Link lived a sad, dogless life, and Rhett discovered the true value of friendship through tricking someone into letting him into their house and stealing their dog. The end._ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> ngl the first half is part of an actual serious fic i (fandomsmaychange) will write someday


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